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2009年6月12日 星期五

說謊高手


要說一個謊話去欺騙別人並不難,可是要說一個謊話去欺騙自己就不是一件容易的事......

有些人因為在感情上受騙,例如碰上一個不是真心愛自己的人、又或是情人在自己面前說謊、背叛自己等等,而感到傷心、悲痛。但是大家有沒有想過,其實要真真正正去說一個可以成功欺騙自己的大話,其實更難,而且更悲哀嗎?

例如一個男人面對著一個自己其實很愛的女人,因為某些原因,他認為大家是不可以做情侶的,所以不斷麻醉自己,「我是不喜歡她的,我根本不愛她,我們只是好朋友」,長時間反複的麻醉,他真的相信自己並不喜歡那個女生,雖然他成功了,但他真的快樂嗎?

又一個例子,一個女人因為某些原因要嫁給一個自己不是真心所愛的男人,她用盡一切的方法說服自己是愛他的,並要自己完完全全忘記自己心愛的舊情人,因為她已是別人的太太了。她用盡半生的時間去將這個謊言變成自己相信的「真話」,你說她不是很厲害嗎?

所以一直以來,縱然別人欺騙我,我雖然也會傷心、失望,但是我覺得要說一個成功的謊言可以去欺騙到自己的,其實是更悲哀的。
說一個謊言欺騙別人是可恥,但說一個謊言去欺騙自己卻是可悲,因為當你有天發現原來一直認為的那些「真話」,原來只是自己欺騙自己、想逃避的謊言,這比任何人去欺騙你,更傷、更痛......所以一個說謊的高手,並不是指他能成功欺騙別人,而是他能成功去欺騙自己。

24 則留言:

Helen 提到...

今日可以做第一個留cm既人!!
我覺得有時說既係美麗的謊言
無錯!唔係指佢能成功欺騙別人,而係佢能成功去欺騙自己,如果連自己都騙唔到,就係一件無可能既事。
其實如果大家有睇一套韓劇"大話妹"(My Girl),一個由原本只係靠小聰明去騙人既小騙子,到最後係為左守護一班原本係唔識既一家人而講左一個連大家都唔相信,反而表白左自己既心聲既謊言...佢寧願自己一個痛苦,但反而感動左這家人...

伊彤:做咩咁有感觸寫呢篇文章?!

simile 提到...

伊彤, i am no.2

First i don't tell lies , but sometimes i did for a good way. i don't like lying because you feel so horrible in your heart after you cheated someone. You are harming someone or telling a really big lie to deceive your friends, family or your partner. That feeling makes you feel so bad....

I hate when people lies to me and i feel i have been cheated . That's why i don't lie to all of my friend and parents. But sometimes in a situation you will often tell some good lies. But they don't harsh anyone...

if you don't want to suffer those bad feelings , then don't tell lies to any body ... that is what i think

from simile

USED 提到...

對,說謊騙自己,都是悲哀的。

我想我曾試過第一個例子^.^"
當時就算令對方有多心痛,
到最後,當中最悲傷的可能是騙自己。

被騙的那個可以跟其他別人分擔,
朋友安慰,有機會盡快轉好,再覓最愛。

相反,騙自己的,是一場真人SHOW,
由別人騙到自己,
由其實很喜歡她當作完全沒有感覺。
也許在事情發生後不久,
那段時間真的可以以為自己已經忘記她,
很可惜整體來說這是一場長痛。

騙自己的人,其中一個後果, 
我覺得很貼切的,是suffer。

加上ing,
就是一過尚未完的苦難;
又或是形容詞,解作令人痛苦的事。

Connie 提到...

唉 講中我心聲
我都試過係學校暗戀一個人
果個人對我又溫柔又好人
但原來佢鍾意另一個人
我唯有不停對自己講我唔鍾意佢既,我唔鍾意佢既,但後來我先知自己不能忘記佢,呢種感覺真係好痛苦架!呢樣野真係呃不到自己架

austin 提到...

哈哈咁你都知我第1次留言
我上次睇J2.愛情研究所
先知你個blog咁易搵:D
所以咪上來討論下關於愛情ge野囉,

Alex Chan 提到...

There are always pros and cons to a situation, but I agree with you Anita.

At the same time, to deceive as a way to ease emotional suffering really depends on personality.

伊彤 提到...

Helen,

我依度指呢,好似有少許出入,即係話當我對你講一個大話,例如我呃你話我要同你借錢,因為我阿媽要睇醫生,咁我就同你話咗一個大話啦,你知道會好嬲,好憎我,咁其實依個大話要講出嚟唔難架。

但係我而家講嘅係面對自己,要成功說服自己相信一個自己提出嘅大話,就係一件好難嘅事,所以我先講成功嘅大話高手,係可以連自己都徹徹底底呃埋嘅人囉!哈哈......is different !! haa......

伊彤 提到...

simile,

其實你講得好哂,亦都講得好好,不過可以真真正正做到嘅卻係兩回事!希望你今日所講嘅說話,到將來都可以做到啦!haa............

伊彤 提到...

Used,

其實我覺得你都幾明白我嘅意思,有時我真係覺得我係識你嘅,不過上次見到你留言話終於考完哂試,所以我又打消咗我識你嘅念頭!哈哈..........

真係好認同你嘅講法,希望你今日已經成功走出悲痛啦!唔好再有'ing'嘅發生啦!哈哈.............

伊彤 提到...

Connie,

Oh, i am really sorry about that,所以其實你喺某個程度上都係一個說謊高手,可惜你最後選擇揭開自己內心深處嘅秘密姐!哈哈..........不過,我諗依件事都已經成為過去,好嘅都嚟緊架啦!哈哈.......

伊彤 提到...

Austin,

好歡迎你加入吖,其實我可以喺度同大家分享愛情嘅睇法,我自己都好開心,咁你有無上我個論壇登記做會員吖?哈哈.........記得得閒多啲上嚟啦!哈哈........

伊彤 提到...

Alex,

Yes, u are right haa......so what kind of person are u ?? haha..........

simile 提到...

Dear 伊彤,

yeah, hopefully i won't have a situation to tell lies to anyone ...

But i believe everyone tell lies once in their lifetime . is the lie harming someboy or are you do it for a good way. this will affect the right way or the wrong way... in chinese is 一線之差 ( my chinese aren't that bad , i still remeber those words ) hahahahaha ^^

what do you think? do you think telling lies are bad ? is it okay / acceptable to tell a good lie ( not harming or hurting someone ) ?

from simile

伊彤 提到...

simile,

其實我覺得好難講is that good or not,不過如果有人同我講大話,我希望佢可以呃我一世,唔好比我知道個事實囉!因為我覺得人去發現人地講大話,比人地呃自己更加唔開心!所以如果係要呃,請呃我一世吧!哈哈............

simile 提到...

Dear 伊彤,

yeah same as me , i want to them 呃我一世. i strongly agree wtih you ^^ ...

let me tell you a story

There is a man dating a girl inside a coffee shop. They both order a tea . Although this is the first time they are dating , but they didn't even say a word to each other. Just slience and slience perhaps both of them are so nervous at that time.

And then the waiter put down the teas. As soon as the tea arrived the man put salt to his tea. Suddenly the girl ask him " hey , why did you put salt in your tea."

The man said " because i used to live in near the seaside and the wind in there taste a little bit of salt . This just make me feel like i am at home drinking tea. i get homesick a lot, the only thing i can do to remember my home "

Inside the girl's mind thinking he is so sweet. After 3 years of love , they got married. they both live so happy togther. Until the man die, the girl are so upset about her husband's death.

Before he was dead, he wrote a letter for his wife ( the girl ).

" Hi , i am so in love with you and i always love you.

But I got to say i am so sorry. I know you don't like people lying to you. I told a big big big lie to you. Do you remember our first date in the coffee shop ? Remember i put salt in my tea ? That is just a lie , becuase i got nothing to say or to talk about something. So i make up this story about my home.

i have drunk 50 years of salty tea in front of you. Sometimes i feel so sick but i know i got to keep this secret.

Please forgive me ! i love you "

If you are that girl will you forgive him ?? OR do you think that man shouldn't wrtie the letter to his wife ??

from simile - - sorry for my spelling and grammar

伊彤 提到...

simile,

如果我睇到嗰張字條,我一定會喊咗出嚟,即使我知道佢原來呃咗我咁耐,但係都只係想同我打開話題,都係因為愛我姐!而且佢都已經受到佢應有嘅教訓,飲咗咸嘅茶咁多年!

而且我會因為我掛念我老公,而開始去飲咸茶添,i think i will !! .......haa

simile 提到...

Dear 伊彤,

this story is so sweet and romantic, you can share it with anyone. hahaha^^ it makes me cry = =

same as what i think

"如果我睇到嗰張字條,我一定會喊咗出嚟"

"而且我會因為我掛念我老公,而開始去飲咸茶添"

it is so hard to say good or not !!

from simile

Kitson 提到...

咁會唔會有可能係欺騙自己,自己同自己講係厄緊自己呢?
又或者會唔會自己一直以來同自己講唔會點點點,or要自己既男朋友點點點,like要自己男朋友大過自己呢d, etc... 都唔係真既呢
究竟準則,原則,慣常呢d野,係唔係一定係正確既呢?

伊彤 提到...

Kitson,

我諗依啲係每個人嘅想法,而且如果我知道自己呃自己嘅話,我會知道嘅,哈哈......

我覺得喺愛情裡面無準則、無話邊樣原則、慣常係錯or對,不過好睇自己嘅感覺、興趣,如果嗰個人真係接受唔到嘅話,佢點可以遺背自己嘅意願呢?而且依啲都係呃唔到自己嘅!^,^

Oku奧 提到...

˙假如,連自己也騙倒了,那麼會不會已不能算是〝騙〞了?
˙要把自己都騙掉是個不錯的方法去弄假成真,就是難度有點高罷了。好像想到了點甚麼,哈!
˙原來奧也有這邊的賬號耶,不錯不錯。

伊彤 提到...

Oku,

咁你諗到啲咩呢?你覺得真係可以好成功咁欺騙自己?咁你都算係一個大話高手!哈哈............不過我驚你有一日發現真相,到時唔知自己接唔接受到姐!哈哈............

Canief 提到...

說謊,也有層次

善意的,惡意的
美麗的,醜惡的
快樂的,悲傷的

人們常說....一段感情裡,不應該出現謊言,但我不同意...

應該是要說,美麗的謊言可以存在,但絕不能有真實的欺騙。

伊彤 提到...

福夭,

哈哈,That is so sweet !! I like it!! hee............

Canief 提到...

今天又想到了一點

說了一個謊,令自己也欺騙了
對,他會是個說謊高手

但同時.....
我覺得他也很悲哀
也很恐怖....